Welcome!

This blog was inspired by a confession on Quizzical Pussy where one of the confessors said that someone should write a poly etiquette book. While a book of etiquette might be a while in coming, I can provide a forum for such inquiries until then.

I recognize that what I think is appropriate and what other people believe will vary heavily, and I welcome all comments that don't devolve to the level of outright trolling. Please voice your opinion on my answers, positive or negative.

To start this off, I'll address the questions posed by the anonymous confessor to QP:

Q: What is the appropriate thing to say to your fuckbuddy’s roommate’s friend with benefits/girlfriend-without any-commitment when you’re left alone with her while your partners sort out the pizza situation?

A: You don't mention how well you know her, but given the tone of the question it sounds like you don't know her particularly well. In such a situation it is appropriate to treat her like any other friend-of-a-friend. The fact that she's sleeping with your fuckbuddy's roommate is entirely irrelevant to your interactions with her, except perhaps making it more likely that you'll be at the same events. Be friendly, but don't be overly familiar to begin with.

Q: How forward is it appropriate to be when your friend has just introduced you to her partner, assuming she’s been trying to set up both of you for days?

A: The crucial question here is what your friend's partner thinks about being set up. If your friend's partner is enthusiastic about meeting you and getting to know you better, is an outgoing person and jumps into new situations with new people easily, then you can be quite forward indeed. If said partner is shy and is less comfortable being forward with new people, then it is on you to be considerate of that need and move a little bit more slowly. Your friends wholehearted approval is valuable, but it's her partner's enthusiasm that is vital.

Q: Do you have to say something if your partner has a really obnoxious other partner?

A: It largely depends on how you find this other partner obnoxious. Does he have an obnoxious laugh? Is she consistently negative? Does he get jealous at the drop of a hat? If your issue with this person is one of badly meshing social styles and you find them irritating, be polite and keep it to yourself. If the obnoxious behavior is part of a larger set of issues that are adding friction to your life it is reasonable to speak to your partner about it, but make sure to be very clear ahead of time about what the issue is and speak in terms of your needs in the situation rather than making any demands.

That wraps up the first post (har) here at The Poly Post. I look forward to your mail and welcome your involvement.